[robotic hand noises] If you like popsicles and you like things
that come in the shape of a popsicle… …then you’ll *definitely* like popsicles. ♪♫You suck at cooking♪♫
♫♪Yeah, you totally suck♫♪ The first popsicle we’re gonna make
is the pineapplecocohoneynutsicle. We’re gonna take a coconut and we’ll just… [coconut rolling noises] [THUD] …grab that can of coconut milk
aaand get that into the blender. You might be wondering why
there’s a separation… … between the thick coconut cream
and the coconut water. That’s just because when the coconut’s growing… …all of the less dense coconut water rises to the top… …while all of the dense coconut growth-hormone
falls to the bottom. Then we’ll take a pineapple… …and we’ll roll that out of the way
so we can grab our can of pineapple chunks. Aaand get all those chunks in there. Then we’ll add around 3 tablespoons of honey… ….and a pinch of salt… …and a handful of shredded coconut. Blend that until it’s smooth… …then pour that into a measuring cup, so you can carefully pour that into your popsicle filling funnel. And then fill up as many as you can. Now we’ll make jamberry blubesicles. Which are great both as a percussive instrument
as well as an edible drumstick. We’ll take another can of coconut milk… …add in a cup of blueberries
and then we’re gonna sweeten it. Can you guess how? Audience: Sugar! YSAC: No. Good guess, though. Audience: Molasses! YSAC: No, that would taste really gross. Any– Audience: A sweeter popsicle! YSAC: *chuckles* No.
I’ll give you a hint. It rhymes with “fuzberry ham”. Audience: Justfairy clam? YSAC: *chuckles again* No. It’s raspberry jam, you dumbf**ks. So we’ll just carefully scrape off
three tablespoons of jam… …add in a pinch of salt… …and squeeze a lemon. [DANGEROUS WHIRRING] Whoops! Blenders typically work better
with the blade inside them. Blend it all up and fill your mold. Our third popsicle is the chocomaplefudgsiclecocopopsiclepop. We’re gonna take another can of coconut milk. We’ll add in six tablespoons of cocoa powder. Four tablespoons of maple syrup. A teaspoon of vanilla extract… …which *reeeally* helps bring the flavor home. And a pinch of salt. Which also really brings the flavor home
as it does with any food that contains flavor. [slightly less dangerous whirring] But if you don’t have a blender… …you can shake this one in a mason jar
with a tiny whisk. This will be easy for you
if you own a shake weight like I do… …cause you’ll have that motion down pat. You can also attach the mason jar
to your shake weight… …and then just get your workout in
while you’re making your popsicle. You want to keep that going until you’ve burnt
the same amount of calories… …that are in the popsicle
so that your popsicle is calorie neutral. Let’s try a different angle *heeeere*! Only you can decide when you’re done
shaking the shake weight. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) That’s a personal decision. Okay, I think we’re pretty good there. I *wouldn’t* recommend using the 25 pounder for this. I mean… I can. But I *didn’t* come here to *talk about* training. And I *came here* to make popsicles. No funnel. The adrenaline from the workout
makes me take more risks. Now we’ll just pop those in the freezer for a few hours. Now if making a popsicle
with a classic stick and mold…. …makes you feel like a sheep,
don’t worry. There’s lots of alternatives. We’ve got the grip circle. This is for clumsy people who need a better grip. Or if you need a popsicle in a windstorm. We’ve got the handsicle, because
holding a hand is the most natural thing in the world. Also for people
who need to work on their intimacy issues. We’ve got the christsicle. Also the crisiscle. This is the stickchopsticle. If you want to have dessert and food at the same time. The toothbrushsticle. Keep that sugar off your teeth! This is the community popsicle. This is great if you go to a music festival by yourself… …and you want to quickly make five friends. We have the off-the-chain-sicle… …which is great,
if you’re in a motorcycle gang. You can make the tough guy popsicle. Which is great if you’re a tough guy… …and don’t want to be caught dead
holding a dainty popsicle stick. It’s also useful for fighting off a dude
who tries to make fun of you for eating a popsicle. [MANLY THUD] Now it’s finally time to take a bite of your popsicle. Mmmmmm… I mean in the end you can’t argue with popsicles. I mean, they don’t have a mouth,
they don’t know how to talk… …they don’t know how to think. You’d end up just looking like a fool… …standing there… …yelling at a tasty treat
that you could be eating instead… …while it melts all over your hand, you know. ♪♫Oooh popsicle♪♫ ♪♫You can’t stopsicle♪♫ ♪♫Eatin’ up and licking all the drips
and all the dropsicles♪♫ ♪♫Get into the pool and do a belly flopsicle♪♫ ♪♫Because you know♪♫ ♪♫It’s always time to stop dropping popsicles♪♫ ♪♫Getting topsicle♪♫
♪♫How much you wantsicle?♪♫ ♪♫Looks like I forgotsicle
when I was at your shopsicle♪♫ ♪♫No matter the weather
it always tastes so much better♪♫ ♪♫When I’m just whipping up
a batch of tasty motherfloppin’ popsicles♪♫ ♪♫I can eat popsicles sitting by the brook♪♫ ♪♫I can eat popsicles when I’m reading a book♪♫ Oh, yeah, I wrote a book. It’s out October 15th. But you can pre-order it now wherever books are sold. Or you can just check out the link below if you want. ♪♫Oh my god. I’ve wrote a flippin’ book.♪♫ ♪♫Oh my god, I hope you wanna take a look♪♫ [rockin’ riffs fade out] [kitties leave slowly] [only the book remains] [only the pain remains]