Presented by The Boys, taking the fight to superheroes. Watch now only on Amazon Prime Video. After 21 MCU movies, Prepare for the final conclusion of the Infinity Saga, and also part 2 of Infinity War, penultimate film of Phase 3, entered a Phase 4, and back to a pilot for about three Disney+ shows. Whew. You remember when movies just, you know, ended?? And then your imagination had to take over? Blergh. Sounds exhausting Avengers: Endgame The most successful crowd-pleasing global film franchise is back. But since life on earth sucks now, it’s all about grief. Loss. “I lost the kid.” Guilt. “It’s supposed to be me.” Depression. “Are you crying?” “Nooo…” And despair! “Thanos should have killed all of us.” Because today’s escapist fantasy isn’t becoming a superhero, it’s going back to fix your mistakes, instead of scraping by in the waking nightmare of your own failure. Can I do a time heist? On my life? Five years have passed since half the population vanished. Or as introverts call it: winning the lottery. Ahhh~ That looks nice. Baseball remains unpopular. Culture got frozen in 2017. “Dab” and an actor shortage has forced directors to cast themselves. “I cried…” “Just before dessert.” Now the Avengers must band together to do what every big franchise does when they write themselves into a corner: Time travel. Watch the surviving heroes dissemble for a now that’s what I call Marvel tour of your fandom. With several alternate camera angles on The Avengers. “I’ll have that drink now.” A trip to the S.H.I.E.L.D. base where they store all the movie’s closure. “Thank you. For everything.” The cliffs that demand you lose someone you love, or at least your work bestie. And a daring raid to justify the existence of Thor: The Dark World. In a plot held together by a whole bunch of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff they’ll try to explain 100 times. “Now either it’s all a joke or none of it is.” None of it’s a joke. Now explain yourself! “If you travel to the past, that past becomes your future, and your former present becomes the past.” “Which can’t now be changed by your new future.” Now explain it again with a visual aid. “The Infinity stones create what you experience as the flow of time.” “Remove one of the stones, and that flows splits.” Now explain it again, but simpler. “They’re not trying to stop something I’m going to do in our time.” “They’re trying to undo something I’ve already done in theirs.” Even simpler… “Changing the past doesn’t change the future.” You know, maybe time travel’s a paradox no matter how it gets justified. See? Reunite with all your favorite Marvel heroes who aren’t clogging up an air filter somewhere. Like Iron Man, Who’s really matured since Iron Man 1, but is still the a-hole who’d rather die to let someone else get the last word. “I am…” “Inevitable.” “And I…am….Iron Man.” Captain America, who after spending a decade in the present day, has learned to curse. “Son of a bitch.” “Oh you gotta be sh*tting me.” Lie. “Hail Hydra.” And look at guys’ butts. “That is America’s ass.” Thor, who it’s okay to make fat jokes about because he’s also suffering from a very realistic post-traumatic stress disorder. “What do you think is coursing through my veins right now?” “Cheez Whiz?” Hahah. He’s struggling. The Hulk, who cut down on the runtime by finishing his arc before the movie starts. “I know, it’s crazy.” Hawkeye, who deals with the loss of his family by having a veeery Cyberpunk midlife crisis. Ant-Man, who thanks to the Internet’s brain poisoning is a letdown every time he’s not inside Thanos’ ass. “Flick me.” Black Widow, who finally gets a primary storyline in one of these movies. Killing herself to motivate the boys. “We have to make it worth it.” Sigh. At least you can tell the passage of time by her hair. That’s… something. Rhodey, hoping and praying they don’t travel back before Iron Man 2. Nebula, who ruins the Avengers’ plan so many times, the most helpful thing she does, is kill Nebula. And Captain Marvel, who’s so powerful the movie desperately finds excuses to leave her out. “The things that are happening on earth are happening everywhere,” “So you might not see me for a long time.” Until it comes up with an excuse to bring her in. So Marvel can finally have her lead the first all-female Avengers team-up… shot. Wooo, maybe Marvel will let them team up together in the sequel…? Ughhh OK, maybe they can all pose again in the background of the Loki show? Remember Thanos? The MCU’s most complex and motivated villain yet. He dead. And taking his place is old Thanos. Uhh, new old Thanos. Younger old Thanos? You know, the version who sits and lets everyone else do all the work. “Find the stones.” “What will you do?” “Wait.” Who steals his evil plans from Spaceballs. “…reduced to atoms.” “You used them two days ago!” “What the hell am I looking at?” “When does this happen in the movie?” “Now.” “What did you do to them?” “Nothing. Yet.” “- Go back to then.”
“- When?” “- Now.”
“- Now?” “- Now.”
“- I can’t.” “- Why?”
“- We missed it.” “- When?”
“- Just now.” and who commands a faceless CGI army the likes of which we have never seen before, since his last two faceless CGI armies. But whatever, watching him fight Thunder Cap was the best moment of my life, and I’m including the birth of my children guys. Sorry kids, you’re just not worthy. Of my time. And attention. So in a world where everyone hates Game of Thrones now, Everyone’s worried about Star Wars, and J.K. Rowling won’t stop crapping on the floor of her legacy. It’s a minor miracle we got a satisfying conclusion to a global nerd franchise. Now just do it again. Forever. Or the entire film industry will collapse. No sympathy from us Disney. You did this to yourself. “Go grab your hammer and you go fly and you talk to him.” “Avengers…” “Assemble” Coming soon to Disney+. OMG, her mobile plan is still active?! Clint, you gotta turn off auto pay man! Did this Honest Trailer cast hideous laughter on you? That’s a D&D spell which you’d know by now if you watched our new episode of fandom uncovered Dungeons & Dragons. This episode was brought to you by The Boys. Watch the new series only on Amazon Prime video You thought it was Epic Voice Guy, but it was me, Dio! I am inevitable. I am Groot. I’m Mary Poppins, y’all. I am Iron Man. I AM BATMAN