(thermos dings) – Oh hey, how’s it going? – Not good. (sighs angrily)
– Uh, everything okay? – Last night, I got in an
argument with my boyfriend Slat. – Uh, about what? – Soap, but it dug up
this buried resentment he has toward his mom, and now, I’m not sure I ever wanna get married. It’s just hard, because
he lives in Australia, so we only have these short
windows to talk at night, and last night, I had to hang up, because I had diarrhea. Long distance is hard. You know? – Yeah, it sounds hard. – Wait, um, (snap) I think I remember. (snapping) You did long distance, right? – Yeah. – Cool, so what’s goin’ on? – Oh, you know. Same old stuff. Um, oh, I think we’re getting pizza for the lunch meeting today. – Kay, no, I went, so you have to go. – Huh? – I shared my personal problems, many which you can relate to, and you didn’t reciprocate, so now it’s uneven, and
I feel vulnerable, so. – I thought I was like,
listening and stuff. – Listen, that is not helpful. – Um, you want diarrhea medicine? – No, I need you to share a
story of equal or greater pain. – Why? – Because that’s how humans heal. I dump my B.S. on you, and you dump on me. – Oh.
– So. – I guess just don’t really
vent about my problems. – Tell me about your long
distance relationship. You’ll feel better. – It was so long ago, I don’t
wanna dredge up the past. – Just one detail, tell me. – Okay, um, fine. Long distance was hard. – No! Were you jealous? There was jealousy, there’s
always jealousy, right? – I need to go for a walk or– – No, no, no, no. Were you insecure?
– I’m so tired. – It’s normal right? Everyone goes through this? Come back, come back. Just tell me one weird or shameful thing about your life so I can feel less personally cursed and alone! – Okay, um, I had pizza twice this week, and I want it again! Wow, yeah, it feels good. – Why are you doing this to me? I’m nice to you, I don’t– – Oh hey John! – Oh hey, how’s it going? – Badly, my boyfriend
ended things last night. I feel like a loser. – Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Breakups are the worst, right?
– Yeah. Hey, thanks for letting me vent. – See, John shares his feelings about being a single freak who
will never find love, and that makes him feel better! John, you are safe to share
your feelings with me any time. – No thanks, I’m good. (sobs) – Why are we all suffering alone? – Jenny, stop! Look what you’re doing to him. – Tatum, what do you hate about your life? What are you ashamed of? Just tell me one thing so I can move on. – Okay, fine! I don’t always floss. – Okay, overshare, I do
not know you like that.