-You had a very stressful year.
-Oh, yeah. -I know everything is okay now.
-Yeah. -But your wife in April
had a brain tumor removed. -Yes. It was…
-And she is recovering okay? She’s great. She’s backstage.
She’s doing great. -So thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ] -So happy to hear that.
-Yeah, no, it was… It was, I mean, you know, I joke
around about it in my act and everything, but it
was really scary for a while ’cause we have five kids. -Yeah.
-And there were moments when I was like, oh, my gosh,
if anything happens to my wife, those five kids are gonna be put
up for adoption. [ Laughter ] You know? Some of these jokes are just
for the fathers. [ Laughter ]
But no, she’s doing great, and, you know, we are,
you know, really grateful. She had an amazing team
of doctors. She had a brain surgeon
we found later — later on. It was — he was the best.
-Uh-huh. -I don’t know how they determine
who the best brain surgeon is. Maybe there’s a competition,
you know? [ Laughter ] “America’s Got Tumors”
or something. [ Laughter ] And Heidi Klum thought,
you know, why does someone have to be the best brain surgeon?
-Yeah. -Isn’t it enough that
they’re a brain surgeon? [ Laughter ] I mean, none of us could even
get in med school. This guy went to med school,
graduated, specialized in the brain and then specialized
in brain surgery, and people are, like, yeah,
but is he any good? [ Laughter ]
Yeah! He — he’s good! You know what they do
with the bad brain surgeons? They don’t let them
be brain surgeons. [ Laughter ] But, uh… [ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you. It’s — it’s really impressive
when you think about it. Like, a brain surgeon,
they can never relax. Like, at no point
when they’re at work, can they say,
“hey, it ain’t brain surgery.” [ Laughter ]
Because it’s brain surgery. -Yeah. [ Laughs ] Do you think, look,
if you were a doctor, what kind of doctor do you think
you would be? Well, I had some time to think
about this. I think I would want to be
an anesthesiologist… -Uh-huh.
-…because I just would like to walk into a room and say,
Hi. I’m Dr. Gaffigan. I’m going to give you some drugs
so you can’t talk or move. [ Laughter ]
And then one of these strangers is going to cut you open. [ Laughter ]
Good luck with that. I mean, what would draw someone
to anesthesiology? It’s like, I like medicine,
but I really enjoy getting people high.
-[ Laughs ] Yeah. -So if I could combine
those two. I also prefer to sit
during surgery. -Yeah. [ Laughs ]
-I love how the anesthesiologists
during surgery — they’re always sitting there,
like, “I don’t even know why I have
to be here.” [ Laughter ] “Yeah, they’re still alive.” [ Laughter ]
“I wish I had my phone.” -And is this something that
while you’re going through it, how quickly did you start
making jokes about it? Obviously, your wife knows who
she’s married to… -Yeah.
-But was this a case where as soon as the tumor came up, you were coming up
with tumor comedy? Well, there is something.
I should preface this by saying my wife is my writing partner,
so… -Right.
-You know, she got out of a 2-hour MRI,
and, like, the first thing she said to me is like,
“Write down these jokes.” [ Laughter ] So these are, you know,
this is, I mean, she, you know, you have to have
a sense of humor about this. I mean, it’s just, you know,
it’s something, you know, but you have to be delicate
about it, like, you can’t really complain
around someone who has had a brain tumor. You can’t — you know, my wife’s
not the type to bring it up. Well, once, she did.
She was like, “You know, I had a brain tumor,”
but I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t be like, “yeah,
that was, like, a month ago.” -[ Laughs ] Right.
-You know? [ Laughter ] What about my seasonal
allergies? You know? They were pretty tough
this year. But she’s got an amazing sense
of humor, so…