– If you crave chocolate cake, and you’re looking at a
chocolate cake, it’s just like, Yeah, I’m a chocolate cake. But if you look at red velvet it’s like– – What?
– What? – Why the chocolate cake talk like that? – Yeah, I’m a chocolate cake?
– What’s that? – Chocolate cake sound
like an old mechanic. Check the carburetor (muffled)
(group laughs) – That sound like he got emphysema. – If chocolate cake had a voice– – Gimme $60 and a Thunderbird. (group laughs) – Chocolate would for sure
be smoking a cigarette. (group laughs) if it was alive.
– A Black and Mild at that. (smooth jazz music) – What up man, this is your boy Doboy, new nickname alert, Dossert.
And I’m here to tell you– (group laughs) why cheesecake is hands-down– – You be putting sliced cheese
on that and eating it too. (group laughs) – What up y’all, it’s
Kevonstage from the A-B-W-L-P-P, the Association of Black
People Who Like Pumpkin Pie. – Oh my god, are you serious?
(group laughs) – And I’m sick of it, I’m sick of it! I am a black man, I like pumpkin pie, and we don’t have to hide any more! – What’s up everybody, I’m Patrick Cloud, and I am here to tell you why red velvet is the best dessert choice– – Fraud!
– of all of them. – Fraud, fraud, fraud!
(group booing) – [Doboy and Kevonstage]
It’s just chocolate cake! – All it is. – Fraud!
– With food coloring. – With a red rag around its head! (laughing) – What’s up, it’s me, Megscoop, and I’m already dancing, because that’s what good food does to you. The best dessert of all time
is strawberry shortcake, ow! – Bad dessert and bad dance moves! – That’s a lot for a mediocre desserts. – First of all, it’s not mediocre. – Ay what’s up, it your boy Tahir Moore, and I don’t really don’t even think I have to argue this – the best, the best dessert in America, is the American apple pie.
(boos) – No, it’s not the best man. – You don’t even believe that though. – It’s the best! – Apple pie is as American as racism. – It’s your boy Deezy here,
representing the best dessert. – [Doboy] Oh my god– – In the land … brownies. – So–
– They got nothing, B! – Teleprompter! – So when you eat those, do
you have to wear white gloves? – Yes, yes, uh-huh.
(laughs) – I mean cheesecake, like you
said you can put fruit in it. I’ve had different types, I’ve
had blueberry cheesecake– – [Megscoop] Skittles. – You’ve had pulled pork cheesecake. (group laughs)
– Barbecue cheesecake. – You’ve had cheesesteak cheesecake. (group laughs) – And to be honest, I
prefer grocery store-bought pumpkin pie.
– Oh my god, no. – And I like it! My mom didn’t know how to bake,
so she bought pumpkin pies and she set them on the
table every holiday season, and I was like, yo, I like these! She was like, thanks Kevon, your dad won’t be around but here’s this. And I was like–
(group laughs) – Wow.
– Thanks Mom! – It’s just chocolate cake with some swag, it’s got some red velvet in it. – Red velvet cake got the best
marketing department ever. – Where did they come up with velvet? Like, what is even velvet?
– I don’t know. – I don’t know, but that
attracted everybody. – My whole life I thought
velvet was an original flavor. (group laughs) – It’s a fraud! – I was at the club
looking at velvet ropes, like ah, this looks delicious! (group laughs) (Megscoop moans)
– Pass some over there, ’cause we’ll try it out,
we’ll be the judge of this. – Oh my gosh, it is so
good, so good that they had a cartoon with a girl
named Strawberry Shortcake. – That’s unrelated, she just
a little red haired girl. – That was for fat kids! – She had– – That had nothing to do with the taste! – Y’all didn’t like that show, I loved it! – Anyway, like I was saying– – I don’t even wanna hear what he says. – The best dessert, I mean, when you have a warm apple pie, there is nothing like, this is like, this is what every warm summer day or every warm– – Stop saying warm! – It’s just delicious man! – But you’re a ginger man, you should have gingerbread cookies! (group laughs) – That would be like eating myself. – That made it weird.
– That just got weird. I ain’t gonna lie, I’ve knocked back a tray or two at a time. (group laughs) – DOLO, DOLO. I just give me this.
(group laughs) – A tray? – DOLO? – Takes the whole tray! – I don’t even cut ’em when I
make ’em, I just give me this! – Just eat the whole thing.
– Eat this! I ain’t cuttin’ nothin’ just give me– – I just imagine you sticking your fingers on the side of the pan,
like ugh, ugh, ugh. – And also, fire treat making brownies, pouring the batter out, then– – Yeah. – Eating the– – Licking the spoon. – This is what happens on
Great Taste when you eat. – It’s not even healthy! Raw eggs! – You don’t have to make a argument. – New York is world renowned
for being the specialty– – What’s the difference
between New York cheesecake and Philly cheesecake? – It’s the consistency of the cheesecake. – That’s not it. – You know that to be true? – Yeah, I googled it before
I got here I did my research. In 1918, a man named Ben
Cheese, he came out… (group laughs) – Ben Cheese! – Berry I like to eat but I’m a – Ben Cheese! – I wasn’t even half, I
was believin’ you at first! (Deezy laughs) A man named Ben Cheese! – I was just about to google it! – Man who saw that? – I like it! – No you don’t – Like pumpkin spice? – Okay, just cause you like
it doesn’t mean it’s the best – But pumpkin cheesecake is fine. – It’s the best to me Megan. – Nobody cares about
you and you built like molten lava cake. I won’t eat nothin’! (group laughs) – Molten lava cake!
She’s said I’m cuttin you – Just melt away! – Really?! There’s children in here! You wanna talk like that? – There’s children, literally
there’s children in here? – A child in here! – It’s a fun version of cake,
you’re eating a red cake! You know what I mean? That’s fun, right? – How do they turn it red? – How do you not know how
to turn some colors in food? – ‘Cause I don’t cook. I eat, don’t cook. – This is bad. – I found out also this
year that red food coloring is like smushed up ants? – Cool. – But I’m a vegan. – Not cool. – You didn’t know that? – You ain’t no vegan. You a eatin. (group laughs) – You haven’t even tasted it. – I have tasted it. – Your, first of all, your
taste buds are off because you think pumpkin pie is the best. – That is true. – Okay, so I can’t listen
to nothin’ you’re saying. – I’m not afraid of being who I am, a mon. – You ugly too.
– A black mon. – That’s not true. – It is.
– A mon. – He eats frumpkin pie. – And then the other…
(group laughs) – I honestly like (mumbles) (group laughs)
– Frumpkin pie! – Just go home. Just go home, Kevon. – I’m growing a complex (group laughs) – We’re talking about an American classic. We’re talking about something
that across all spans everybody likes. – No, we don’t.
– No! – First of all, let me finish. You might not love it,
– Don’t like it. – We just said we didn’t like it. (group laughs) – Don’t like it
– We don’t like this. Well, you might not love it. (group laughs) – Definitely don’t love it
’cause we don’t like it. – No no no, he just said
we don’t like it at all. It might not be your thing. – You might not love it. – There are things you dislike more. – But listen, if a poll was (laughing) – You’re stupid. – These are fire, though.
Whatever brand this is with the brownie bites, fire. – I like eating the corner
pieces ’cause they have a little bit of crust. – They got a little crunch on ’em. – Other thing about – I don’t like brownies. – At all?
– I mean, – Eat this Meg, take it, enjoy it. – Blah.
– Cool. Alright, cool. – (Kevon laughs) – Anyways, another thing
about these, they’re always at the storefront of whatever
restaurant you go to. When you sit down,
– They are. – They have that little
dessert thing with the drinks and the dessert on it.
What’s always on top? – Brownies. – A brownie with the fudge
on it and ice cream… – That’s just so much chocolate. – Don’t make that voice, please. – Wooooo!
– But you know what? That’s one of the worst cakes to eat, especially if you’re lactose intolerant. And a lot of black people have
a high lactose intolerance, which I thought you said you
had a lactose intolerance. – And I don’t give a damn, it’s that good. – Y’all will be the recipients
of why I shouldn’t eat it. – Uggggh! (group groans) – Clear this room out. – Why do you eat the inside?
You know you can just open a can of pumpkin purèe
and eat that. That’s the same– – You think I haven’t done it? (group laughs) – Did you really? – You act like that’s
off the table for him. – It’s the sexiest dessert. – It is sexy.
– Oh my god! – Put on that red cake. – I can’t lie to you.
– I’m not… – When they layer this
– some of that icing. – One red, white, red, and
then just cream it all with… Oh my god. – Red velvet cupcakes. Come on, now. (group laughs) Come on now. – That’s like the standard for graduation is red velvet cupcakes. – How would you know? – You didn’t graduate. – But I’ve been to graduations. (group laughs) – It’s so good. Take that
whole piece right there. – I is. – You could change your life. – I is. – Change your life. – How good is it, Denzel? – It’s alright. It’s good.
It’s a good combination. – That’s the best. – When people say it’s
American as baseball, or American as apple pie, it’s… Come on, guys. – Both boring things. – That’s not even the best pie out. – It ain’t even the best fruit! – Like not even the best pie. – It’s not!
– Not even the best fruit! – I’d be walking past the apple section of the grocery store every– – Have you ever had a honeycrisp apple? – Yeah, those are fine. – When will y’all stop eating those? – Brownie bites. – Stop throwing those at him like a dog. (Tahir laughs) – And you’re catching them like a dog! – That’s gonna be his
audition tape for Seaworld. (group laughs) – Doboy is never athletic unless you’re throwing food at him. – (laughing) What? – To wrap it up, I was
up here talking and I ate my whole piece. – You weren’t gonna wrap it up
until you were finished, huh? – Dossert, we outta here. – In conclusion, be who you
are. Like pumpkin pie, open! – A red velvet cake is
the best dessert because it finessed its way into the game. It’s the Joanne the Scammer of desserts. – If you know your desserts, you’re smart and you’re beautiful, and you
appreciate the finer things in life, you, too, understand
that strawberry shortcake is the best dessert that was ever created. – Wrap it up, vamp, come on now. – Get out of here! – Shut up! – Scram! – Scram!
– Scram, you! – You get out! – Brownies are the best! – No they’re not. – They’re not, but okay. – They’re the most, like,
the most homey-feeling dessert ever. – The most broke boy dessert. – You tuck emergency
brownies into your durag. (group laughs) (smooth jazz music)